How Goal Setting Sabotages Your Weight Loss Long Term
Mastery and accomplishment of the seemingly impossible comes from a focus on the process and not on the result.
Goal setting is a ubiquitous part of weight loss and body transformation, but I want to let you in on a little secret. At the time of writing this article, I am forty-five years old, and I competed as a lifetime drug free bodybuilder for several years until I hung up my trunks well over a decade ago. Yet, new clients who meet me for the first time often remark that they are surprised to see that I look just like I did in my photographs that are over a decade or two old. Many ask how is it that I not only maintained the physique and conditioning of a competitive athlete, but also what secret do I have that allows me to look better in my mid forties than I did when I was at my competitive prime in my mid-twenties to early thirties? And how is it that I am in shape all year round and not seasonally as so many others tend to be? The answer isn’t superhuman willpower or superior genetics, nor am I (as some have theorized) a cybernetic organism with living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. In fact, there isn’t anything particularly exemplary about me or my physical accomplishments as not only have I been able to replicate it with successful personal training clients and my staff, but it’s also quite teachable. And I have been teaching it for well over twenty years. In a nutshell, the key is that I don’t employ goal setting as means of motivation or benchmarking. I never really have at any point in my career as the focus has always been on the process rather than the realization of a goal. In fact, I would venture to say that goal setting is partly responsible for the cycle of weight loss and weight gain that most people experience, and is one of the explanations of why most people who were once in amazing shape tend to fall off the wagon as they get older. What you are about to read might be characterized as unconventional, but it’s based on some very basic behavioral truths that form the cornerstone of many ancient traditions aimed at self-transformation. It’s also a truth that those who are able to stay in excellent shape throughout their lives stumble upon but are often not able to fully articulate. Think of this as the ultimate training and weight loss life hack, one that that just might help you attain and maintain your self-improvement endeavors long term.
Goal setting, just about everyone does it and it’s taken for granted that you need to set goals if you want to succeed. If you go on a diet and start working out, the usual practice is to select a target on the scale or a clothing size that you’d like to fit into, make a plan and work towards it. Working with a personal trainer or nutritionist, there is almost always a goal involved as it’s how they show you the value of their services. Whether with a fitness professional or on your own, usually you will set small goals in order to have some small wins early on that are meant to keep you motivated and in the game. Then you slowly work your way up to bigger and more lofty goals as time goes by. For example, many start with a small goal like staying on your diet all week and or often something more concrete such as losing one pound on the scale each week. These short- and long-term objectives are easily attainable and who isn’t stoked when they hit one of their targets! But, as happy as you might be for hitting your goal, there is an elephant in the room when it comes to weight loss and any kind of physical transformation. And that is that reality that long-term weight loss sustainability rates are abysmal, even among the most elite athletes.[8]
Most of us are aware of the ridiculously low rates of long-term weight loss success, but somehow we persist in unquestioningly employing the same strategies that don’t work while expecting different outcomes. Goal setting certainly will help you lose weight and make changes in the short term, but is that really your goal? Of the thousands of men and women I have worked with, very few were really interested in a short-term fix. They saw it as better than nothing, and the best that they could do, while hoping that the next time somehow things might be different, but the truth is that most of us want to get into better shape and maintain it for decades. Not days, not weeks and not even years, and thus far few are able to do so. My observation from working with so many people over so many years, is that the very goal setting system and reward-based mentality might be great for short term weight loss, but ultimately is one of the CAUSES of long term weight loss failure. That being said, the reasons for weight loss and weight regain are legion, and I explore the mechanics weight regain in my article- Why Did My Weight Loss Stop.
In this article, however, I am going to touch on one of the common behavioral practices that make weight regain almost inevitable for most men and women. I get that contradicting set-in-stone practices might be controversial, but early on in my career after about ten years of helping people lose weight, the pattern was unmistakably clear. The more goal oriented the client was, the LESS likely they were to be able to sustain their transformation. On the other hand, those who were more lifestyle focused ALWAYS lost more weight, had even more spectacular transformations, and most importantly, were able to stay in decent shape for years after working with me. So much so that I have for the better part of 20 years worked with all of my clients on moving away from being goal focused and instead teaching them to become more process focused. An approach that I am going to share with you.
Before we start, it’s important to reiterate just how elusive long-term weight loss is for most people. Studies show that 95-98% of those who lose weight at some point will regain all of it within five years, a depressing 2-5% long term success rate among the general population.[9,3,4] Making matters worse are the findings that 90% of the men and women who lose weight and regain it, will end up weighing more than they did in the first place.[5] Sobering to say the least, and given that 45 million Americans go on a diet yearly and spend over 33 billion dollars a year in weight loss products and services, it starts to become clear that better practices might not necessarily be better for those in the weight loss industry, as long term success translates into less repeat customers and lower profit margins. At a time when men and women are focused on weight loss than any other time in history, but two thirds of American adults are overweight, a number higher than at any other point in history means that something simply isn’t working. [1] Temporary weight loss is achievable, and people do it every day, (to paraphrase Mark Twain), but such results are often fleeting with the weight creeping back on even in spite of redoubled efforts to stop it. Weight loss today is truly an exercise in initial hope followed by misery and abject frustration. A cycle akin to the myth of Sisyphus, who was cursed to labor from dawn to dusk pushing a heavy boulder up a mercilessly steep hill, only to see it roll back to the bottom of the hill at days end. While some may find comfort in the existential idea that there is meaning in the effort, the fruitless nature of the task remains and in the case of weight loss, so does the lowered self-esteem and the increased risks of metabolic-related disease. The practice of goal setting is a part of this cycle and while you can TEMPORARILY lose weight short term with goal setting, any success almost always marks the beginning of a slow and predictable downward spiral of regaining all the weight lost and seeing the results of your hard work all but fade away.
How Goal Setting Can Sabotage Weight Loss: An Unlikely Parallel Example
For 17 years, I worked with the formerly homeless populations of New York City. Many suffered from chronic substance abuse issues, and part of my job as an acupuncture detoxification specialist and recreational therapist was to help those in the grips of addiction work towards sobriety while helping those in recovery maintain their abstinence. I learned a lot about human behavior working with them and one of the patterns I repeatedly observed among active users was at first a bit of a puzzle. After a drawn-out period of intense substance abuse, the user might find himself or herself at rock bottom. Usually after some occurrence sparked an increased sense of self-awareness that made him or her more painfully aware that they were in a wretched state. This would prompt them to start working towards making a change in their lives as a way to escape the unbearable misery that was consuming them. And at this point, most would come to the conclusion that that they needed help in order to get clean and would enlist our aid to get checked into a twenty-eight-day detoxification program.
At the program, they would be clinically supported through the often-grueling withdrawal symptoms that come with the cessation of prolonged use of drugs or alcohol. When patients felt better, they would attend groups, get individual counseling, and have access to a range of therapies geared towards helping them maintain their sobriety. At the end of the 28-day program, earnestly elated that they were able to get clean, the first thing they would do upon their return home would be to round up their friends and get high to celebrate. This would usually be a serious binge lasting sometimes as long as two or three days and interestingly enough, when I describe this behavior, many would fervently argue that the users were never serious about getting clean in the first place. And that 28-day programs are little more than mini-vacation spots for substance abusers seeking quality down time. From the outside it does sometimes look this way but having worked alongside these men and women for so many years, I can state with conviction that this is seldom ever the case. Everyone who descends to that all-time low finds themselves truly unhappy and often want nothing more than to make that unhappiness go away. Triggers could have been friends and or family members turning their backs on them, relationships falling apart, the substance abuse related death of a friend or loved one, or simply getting to a point where they were tired of watching everything they attempted to build in their lives fall apart because of their addiction. The reasons are many, but all share in common a state of utter wretchedness and self-loathing that they wanted to escape.
What’s ironic is that the same people who believed the substance abusers weren’t serious about getting clean were the same ones, who after months of intense training, healthy eating and commitment to reaching their goal of radically changing the way they look, would at the end of summer, after a contest or after reaching their target weight loss goal, would come to the conclusion that they deserved some form of a reward for their accomplishment, and to celebrate, they would go on a binge of truly unhealthy eating. A binge that would ultimately undo almost all, if not all the progress they had worked so hard to achieve. Sound familiar?
The Danger Of Pressure Based Motivations To Lose Weight
What’s unfortunate is that these behaviors are almost never associated with goal setting, as any failure with regards to weight loss is almost always categorized as some form of personal weakness. A failing on your part due to a lack of willpower, when the lapse was an almost inevitable consequence of aggressive goal pursuits. We place so much emphasis on looking up to the seemingly fit men and women on social media that we are blind to the fact that they suffer the same fate as everyone else following a goal centered approach to getting into shape. Take the average bodybuilder/men’s physique/figure/bikini competitor’s cycle. They work hard to get into amazing shape for a contest and photo shoots, but for someone interested in long term weight loss, they are the worst examples of who you should be looking towards for inspiration, much less instruction. As the first thing 99% of competitors do when they step off stage on contest day, is to start eating junk food. Often in eating disorder quantities as binge eating is considered just another part of the competitive cycle and a well-deserved reward for all of your hard work and accomplishments. (Sounds familiar?) In a short space of time most of them look VERY different from what they looked like when they were onstage and the images you see posted on social media. The transformation can be remarkable as many can go from looking like the epitome of human conditioning to looking like they have little but a passing acquaintance with the inside of a gym and more than a passing acquaintance with the inside of McDonalds! This isn’t a pattern anyone I know in the general population wants to emulate and there are signs of long term adverse effects from periodic dieting and weight regain. [5,6,7]
More importantly, as the years go by, the majority of men and women who are in exceptional shape today will succumb to the same slow downhill effect of getting a little more lax with their diets, training less intensely until the pounds start piling up and they look no different from the average overweight male or female. Absent goals like contests and the adulation gleaned from social media likes, it usually takes as little as 2-3 years for a competitor to look just like anyone else who needs to eat better. With a little over 30 years in the industry, I would estimate that less than 10% of the men and women who I have seen at the highest levels of human conditioning ten to twenty years ago are not visibly overweight today. This pattern holds true not just for those in the bodybuilding world, but for ALL athletes in sports where weight cycling is a fixed goal in order to “make weight” for different classes.[8] Studies have found that Olympic level boxers, weightlifters and wrestlers are all MORE LIKELY TO BE OVERWEIGHT in middle age when compared to athletes from other sports and non- athletes.[8] As I mentioned earlier, there are physiological repercussions that make it harder to lose weight after extreme weight cycling, but behavioral structures play a strong part as well. Ones that you need to understand in order to avoid falling into the same trap.
How Goal Setting Can Make You Gain Weight
To understand why goal setting doesn’t work long term, try to remember how you felt the last time you were either disgusted or concerned about the way you looked. Unfortunately, in a world where we are incessantly bombarded by images of men and women in fantastic shape promoting everything from beer to life insurance, or on social media, it isn’t hard for most of us to find a fairly recent episode of inadequacy or self-loathing. Weight loss ads are populated with svelte, well-muscled bodies with the intent of creating some pressure for you to feel badly about yourself if you are one of the hundreds of millions of Americans who don’t fit a stellar physical description. Sometimes, family, friends and colleagues add to the pressure by pointing out your need to lose weight (or in some instances gain) weight and get into better shape. This can come in the form of a snide remark or a genuine expression of concern, either of which can make you feel very uncomfortable regardless of the intent. At the moment when your sense of discomfort becomes unbearable, you will do what most people do; set some goals and start trying to realize them by trying to eat better and get more exercise. This all sounds like a good idea, but as useful as this form of pressure might appear to be, it can lock you into a structure where regaining weight and undoing all of your hard work becomes almost unavoidable.
When you experience some form of discomfort you will attempt to either remove or lessen the intensity of the discomfort. This is human nature and in fact the nature of all sentient organisms. For example, if you are outside and it starts raining heavily, without thinking you will most likely seek shelter as standing in the rain is uncomfortable. This is an illustration of our natural inclination to follow the path of least resistance and where discomfort is minimized or removed completely and our predisposition towards seeking the path of least discomfort influences almost all the everyday decisions of our lives, whether we are aware of it or not. When I was learning tracking skills, I was taught that I could easily determine where to start looking for tracks and the most likely path of travel for any animal, (humans included) by simply observing the geography and looking for the path of least resistance. Whether in an urban or wilderness environment, all animals make a series of small decisions to avoid or minimize discomfort based on the terrain in front of them and will naturally select the routes that present the least amount of physical challenge. Gravitating towards trails and well-worn pathways that go down rather than those that go up and choosing well-worn routes rather than going through the effort of making new ones. The extent that I have on several occasions been able to successfully track people in the woods relying mostly on finding the path of least resistance principles, even in situations where they were consciously doing their best to not leave an obvious trail.
There is absolutely nothing novel or revolutionary about any of this, but what isn’t as self-evident, is how this system plays out on an emotional level, and how it can bring about behavioral patterns that lead to long term failure when goal setting is employed. Here is a typical weight loss related example: If you are overweight, or just don’t have the body that you want, you might not be happy about how you look and most importantly, how you feel. That unhappiness becomes a sad presence in your life that over time you learn to tolerate and you won’t be prompted to do anything but think about making a change unless one day, the inner anguish and turmoil of not being where you want to be physically reaches a low that you perceive as unbearable and you decide that you need to make a change.
The proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back can be of either an internal or external nature. It could just be a day where you woke up feeling frustrated. A moment where you tried to put on a piece of clothing and were appalled by how it fit or didn’t fit. It could be an insult, an unkind comment or a situation where you felt uncomfortable about your physical appearance. It could be the results from a medical examination, and or a physician’s warning that you need to lose weight or else. It could be the image of someone who is ultra-fit on Instagram with a body that you would like to have, or it could be a fitness related advertisement that made you look inward and decide that it was time to make a change. Regardless of the origin of the stimulus, you feel compelled to take some steps towards changing your life because the discomfort of not being where you would like to be has become intolerable. Thus, resolved and resolute, you set some goals of where you would like to be and begin the work of going about making that change a reality and achieving those goals.
The Precise Moment When Goal Setting Fails for Weight Loss
This should sound, as it is the experience of almost everyone who has tried to lose weight at some point in their lives. But here is why it fails. You see, when you start a regime to lose weight by eating better, being more active or both, you are taking an action to lessen the feeling of discomfort that compelled you to initiate the change in your behavior. Taking as we say, the path of least resistance. However, all lifestyle changes come with some measure of resistance, and changing the way you eat and exercising more (or more intensely) is incredibly stressful. It’s by no means easy and it puts a lot of pressure on you to stop. But you have a goal in mind, and so you stick with the program because the pressure of changing your lifestyle is less than the pressure you feel by not having the body that you want. As time goes by, you start achieving your goals and begin to see the fruits of your labor. The numbers on the scale go down, people start making comments about how great you look, you fit into that outfit you always wanted to wear, or maybe you did well at a contest or looked fantastic for the summer. Regardless of what the goals were, you can see that they are being achieved and or you see meaningful movement towards seeing it being possible. At this point the pressure and frustration of being so far removed from your goals is significantly reduced and as a result, you no longer have as intense or as visceral a drive motivating you to overcome the pressure of having to make the sacrifices required to keep making progress.
The more weight you lose and the closer you are to realizing your goal, the harder it gets to justify staying in an uncomfortable place where you have to be strict with your eating habits and really pushing it with your workouts. When the pressure to realize your goal becomes less than the pressure to keep working towards the goal, this will be the point where you begin to relax and fall back into old habits. Following again, the path of least resistance. Dieting is tremendously difficult, and in keeping with restraint theory, the harder you push yourself to avoid particular foods, the more you find yourself desiring it. Add to this, the hormone induced cravings for high calorie foods as your body naturally tries to make you maintain as much fat as possible, and you will experience what many describe as extreme discomfort. A burden that doesn’t go away when you make healthier eating choices but was simply overpowered temporarily by the stronger motivation to realize your fitness goals and stop feeling awful about yourself. Remove that impetus by achieving your goals and unhealthy eating habits and bad lifestyle choices return in force.
This structural movement towards tension relief explains everything from why drug addicts relapse after leaving rehab to the food disorder level eating behaviors that are common after physique competitions and why many of them can’t get in great shape all year round and why former athletes, deprived of a goal to aim for are more likely to become overweight. It also explains why most people, having reached their goal, will slip right back into old habits and fall into the pattern of weight loss then weight gain, and then start the cycle all over again when they feel bad enough to start their weight loss endeavors anew. In essence, it’s all a natural following of the path of least resistance. A path that changes based on which motivating pressure is strongest.
In an interesting twist, many will maintain some form of exercise or activity as a bleed valve. Using exercise as a way of regularly reducing the tension of not being in shape or from indulging in behaviors that are not conducive to fulfilling their weight loss goals. (Think about how often you heard someone say they were going to do extra cardio after eating junk food.) Now the near universality of this behavior might make you think that long term weight loss is simply impossible, but we must remember the 2-5% in studies who ARE able to lose weight and keep it off long term. I have also worked with dozens of men and women who were able to maintain their weight loss for years on end and of course, I am also an atypical example of a former competitive bodybuilder who somehow evaded the typical decline that comes when you hang up your trunks. How did we do it? Here’s the answer:
How To Avoid The Cycle Of Goal Setting And Relapse
The men and women I have worked with who are the most successful at losing weight long term tend to start out the same way as everyone else does. Unhappy with their physical appearance and or fitness levels, they also struggled against inner and outer pressures that this discord creates until they reached that seemingly unbearable juncture where they were motivated to make a change. To reduce the anxiety they felt about not being in shape, they set some short term and long-term goals, (just like everyone else), and began training regularly and eating better. But somewhere along the line, something different happened. Even though they were happy to realize their objectives and see tangible results, they were no longer overly focused on the achievement of their goals, the numbers on the scale, the way they looked, or even the positive feedback and compliments from friends and family. Instead, they learned to alleviate the discomfort they felt regarding their health or appearance through the execution of the actions required to lose weight and get into better shape. And not from trying to realize a goal or achieving any fitness related benchmarks. By eating better and exercising regularly, and really focusing on it, they FELT better. And so there was not as much counter pressure to return to their former habits, as such a return would make them feel worse. They also didn’t lose weight rapidly, didn’t do hours of cardio and weight training, (in fact they all did zero cardio and trained only three times a week for less than forty minutes a week in total), and because their exercise regimes were short and made them feel better, they began looking forward to the workouts, and felt discomfort when they MISSED their workouts. Consequently, they stuck with their training and diet long term, were able to get through the dietary doldrums, where most people quit because they feel they aren’t seeing adequate results for all the work they put in, and were able not just to change their bodies, but change their lifestyles.
This leads to the time-tested philosophy I strive to instill in everyone who works with me:
Don’t focus on the results. Focus on the process.
Those who are ultimately successful at losing weight, eating well and staying in great shape for decades on end, (myself included), aren’t goal oriented, we are process oriented. It’s a philosophy that is anthemic to the modern microwave mentality that is always seeking fast results and instant gratification. A mentality that might be great if your goals are winning trophies or looking good only for a relatively short period of time, and it does help sell products and services, but it’s based on not just an empty long-term promise, but a counterproductive one. Reliance on results almost always leads to reduced adherence over time, as a reward-oriented focus diminishes the drive you need to overcome the incredible pressures required to lose weight and keep it off long term. (Remember what happened with the substance abusers who got out of rehab.) On the hand, those who focus on the process are relieved of their tension by habitually performing the very positive actions needs to be done in order to get into better shape. The tension never really goes away, as it never really can, but it works differently, as when someone who has become process centered and they stop eating well or and training regularly, that’s when the discomfort kicks in and pushes them to keep going a positive and self-sustaining loop.
It’s the adaptive development of a new set of habits that work to form a completely new you.
This type of change is really a path towards mastery, and not the mastery of a skill, (which can be acquired through the 10,000 hour practice model, which is goal centric), in this case, it’s mastery of the most difficult challenge of all– mastering yourself. If there was ever any goal that needed to be set over the course of your life, it would be the goal of self-mastery. As in our modern world, being able to eat healthy and exercise regularly is not a default state, and you have to work against the wind, so to speak in order to do it. You need to master the impatient part of you that craves reward and reassurance to justify continuing along a difficult path. You need to master the defeatist perspective that you don’t have what it takes to achieve what you want. That nagging voice that makes so many tap out long before we are anywhere near our true limits. You need to master the cravings that come with restricting yourself from eating the foods you used to eat. You need to master coping with the formidable social pressure from friends and family that can so easily derail your commitment to the creation of a new you. You need to master training. Not just exercising regularly, taking a class here and there, or going on the treadmill when you feel like it. If you truly want to change your body long term, you have to embrace and master your training. Which is exceptionally difficult without the guidance of those who have already achieved mastery on such a path.
Mastery is about developing good habits and focusing on the practice. It doesn’t come from a reliance on discipline or enthusiasm, but the adaptive development of habits that will allow you to perform a relatively difficult task over and over for years on end. That’s not what you hear in weight loss ads, as it isn’t something that can be sold, but it’s the reality of what is required. What is also often omitted is that the focus on the process needs to be strong enough to help you get through those times of abject frustration. The times when it feels like your actions amount to nothing and that you are wasting your time walking in circles in a figurative desert of arid nothingness. But these are the defining moments. The ones that truly determine your success, because if the pressure to stop the eating well and training regularly is never greater than the discomfort you would feel if you stopped eating well and training regularly at the moments when all seems hopeless, then you can push through any feeling of futility and the sky becomes the limit to what you can achieve in time. As consistency is the path to unimaginable accomplishments for those patient enough to stay the course. This is how a relatively small number of men and women beat the odds and appear to do the seemingly impossible. Through persistence and a nurtured work ethic of consistency, in a structure where eating well and exercising regularly becomes the reward. It’s a quiet, intimate and personal journey that frees you from the need for external motivation or validation and from the Sisyphean cycles of short-term success that set the stage for long term failure.
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References for How Goal Setting Stops Weight Loss Long Term
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2. Wing RR, Phelan S. Long-term weight loss maintenance. Am J Clin Nutr. 2005
3. Wu T, Gao X, Chen M, van Dam RM. Long-term effectiveness of diet-plus-exercise interventions vs. diet-only interventions for weight loss: a meta-analysis. Obes Rev. 2009
4. Anderson JW, Konz EC, Frederich RC, Wood CL. Long-term weight-loss maintenance: a meta-analysis of US studies. Am J Clin Nutr. 2001
5. Kroke A, Liese AD, Schulz M, Bergmann MM, Klipstein-Grobusch K, Hoffmann K et al. Recent weight changes and weight cycling as predictors of subsequent two year weight change in a middle-aged cohort. Int J Obes Relat Metab Disord 2002
6. Reed DR, Contreras RJ, Maggio C, Greenwood MR, Rodin J . Weight cycling in female rats increases dietary fat selection and adiposity. Physiol Behav 1988
7. Wannamethee SG, Shaper AG, Walker M . Weight change, weight fluctuation, and mortality. Arch Intern Med 2002
8. S E Saarni, A Rissanen, S Sarna, M Koskenvuo & J Kaprio. Weight cycling of athletes and subsequent weight gain in middle age. Int J Obes 2006
9. Loveman E, Frampton GK, Shepherd J, et al. The clinical effectiveness and cost-effectiveness of long-term weight management schemes for adults: a systematic review. Health technology assessment (Winchester, England) 2011